Tuesday, May 10, 2011
Another Miserable Morning
So, I've begun to realize that everyday brings the same misery as the day before. Here is my typical day. I wake up around 6 am usually with pain in my neck and shoulders. My daughter comes into my room throwing her usual morning before I Have my ADHD medication fit. Then my sons join on the I'm hungry chant. My husband gets up in his usual foul mood. I get dressedget the kids ready shower and head out to drop them off at daycare and then I go off to work! I bust my ass all day for shit money! I then get to be picked up by my husband with screaming children in the car. It is Then home to feed the kids, bathe them and get them to bed. I then get to watch TV and pass out in exhaustion. So I have begun to ponder if it is worth getting up everyday? I have missed my kids growing up. My marriage has fallen apart due to lack of support and understanding and I feel like a shell of a person that I used to be!! I work to barely get by! I reflect on What I did to deserve this! I am a smart woman with absolutely nothing to show for it on my life!! Now I'm living in Iowa far away from anyone I know. I am miserable with no where to turn. Crying inside happens daily because no one would care if I did it out loud! I used to think success was a result of hard work! Now I know success is all a result of who you know and lucky events! Guess I was destined to be a nobody! At least from here I can see the ground! People who think they are better than me should realize that all of us come to the same end an uncertain death! Someday. I will be out of my misery! It is just a matter of how much longer this will last!